If this house were a woman,
She’d be told,
She looks good for her age,
Not really old.
Not really old.
Heading into her second century,
She’s got a few wrinkles,
A few joints that creak.
She suffers from incontinence,
Under the kitchen sink.
The plaster carries scars,
From a ladder of years,
Evidence of movement and growth,
The legacy of child-sized mountaineers.
She’s got good bones,
And a strong foundation.
But neglect and patchwork fixes,
Detract from her reputation.
If this house were a woman,
She’d fetch few winning offers,
For nothing depreciates more than a woman,
When time's an unwelcome stalker.