It was not the murder, unfortunately, that shocked me, but the
response to it by one woman who was somehow connected to the murdered
woman. She said, “Hopefully this will raise awareness about
spousal abuse.”
Awareness is not something we need more of; we need action. We
need real protection not pieces of paper. We need the deaths of
women at the hands of their partners to be taken far more seriously
by society and by the police.
I would even go so far as saying we need the death penalty for
such crimes as nothing else seems to act as a deterrent. But I
actually doubt that the death penalty would help either.
There is a sickness in our society that creates men that think
women are their property and that when they are done with such
property, or if that property should be done with them; it's their
right to terminate the existence of said property. Is this not the
mindset of men who stalk, men who harass, men who murder their former
girlfriends and wives?
Society has to stop making women objects. With the spread of
internet porn and the hyper-sexualizaton of young girls- I have my
doubts that we are creating an environment that will make this
objectification of women less prevalent.
If there is no cure for society at least the police can step up to
protect us. In many cases that fails to happen. In many cases women
don't feel that their fears and complaints are taken seriously. They
come to this conclusion due to the uncountable number of times the
police have failed to act to protect them; from the serial killer
Robert Pickton, to the man down on the street who thinks it's his
right to smack his woman when she gets out of line.
Several months ago I decided that I needed to inform the police
about a potential situation that might develop with my former partner
as I had filed for sole custody of our children.
My children have always lived with me. The oldest child had lived
with her father for less than a year of her life and the younger
child had never lived with him. When I filed for custody I received
no word from him that he knew of the case and was only informed by
the court that he had contacted them and stated he wished to dispute
my case.
I did some research and found that most men facing a custody case
tend to abduct the children before a decision is made. My ex works
for an international company, travels on business all over the world
and is frequently incommunicado. At the time I knew he was aware of
the upcoming custody case but he had not answered e-mail or
communicated with the children for several weeks. He could be
anywhere- and thinking about doing anything.
Following the advice on a Government of Canada website regarding
parental child abduction:
Vulnerability
Your child is most vulnerable to abduction when your relationship
with the other parent is broken or troubled. The vulnerability is
magnified if the other parent has close family in, or other ties,
with another country.
If
at any time you believe your child may be in danger of being
abducted, you should discuss the matter with your local police, your
lawyer, Consular Services and other organizations that may be able to
provide you with assistance and advice. Remember that it is easier to
prevent an abduction than it is to recover a child after an abduction
has taken place. Do not ignore your fears. Act upon them and seek
assistance.
I visited my local police station to state
my concerns and give them my ex's picture and passport details. The
commanding officer told me I could not prevent him (my ex) from visiting the
children, which was not my objective, and took the information I had
on hand. He did not ask me why I was concerned other than the
obvious impending custody case.
I had reason to be concerned- so much reason that I moved half a
world away from this man. The officer didn't seem to want to know
about these reasons.
The next week as I was preparing the paper-that is my job- I was
proofing the Police cruiser report which list the activities of the
Police service in our town over the period of the past week, no names
are given but complaints and calls are listed. Under the date and
time that I went to the police with my concern was the following:
RCMP received a
complaint of a child custody
issue in the Guysborough
area. Investigation
revealed the complaint to
be unfounded / unsubstantiated.
complaint of a child custody
issue in the Guysborough
area. Investigation
revealed the complaint to
be unfounded / unsubstantiated.
It is true that nothing occurred- my children and I have been
safe; but the 'complaint' was not unfounded / unsubstantiated. As for
investigation, they never talked to me about this matter again. If
they talked to the Family Law Court I don't know and I certainly
don't know if they contacted my ex.
Several weeks after this appeared in the paper a young officer,
not the one I had talked to about the potential of abduction, came to
my house with a survey on policing in the community. I outlined my
aggravation with how this matter had been handled and signed my name.
I have heard nothing in response.
So as to awareness raising, I'm past that. I want action and respect,. How can we make the police take us seriously? Why do we have
to fight to be taken seriously when the evidence is overwhelming that
when not taken seriously our complaints may end in our deaths.
I'm tired of hearing yet another news report on the murder of a
woman by her partner. There are too many of them. When I tried to
find the specific case that I had fleetingly heard on the radio I
googled: native woman, 38, murdered, March, partner. There were so
many results I could not find the one I was looking for; a very sad state of affairs to be sure.
The post picture comes from: Aboriginal Leaders Welcome U.N. Scrutiny of Missing-Women Cases
