Go Google Yourself

Today I did my not so routine Google check of my name and aliases. I found that I continue to be most widely available in relation to my Thesis: Sport, Tradition and Women in Competitive Muay Thai. My name comes up along with this title on websites in English, Thai, and Japanese.

My next claim to fame is my writing life which has left a minor footprint as a noted member of The Bangkok Women Writers Group, and as a back cover blurb writer:

“Turmann shows us what he’s capable of by creating a new genre of literature: Quirky Southeast Asia Fiction. Well drawn characters, occasional stunning plot twists…a fascinating read.”
Lois Ann Dort, 2Magazine

Most interestingly my name comes up in a very ridiculous fashion on someone else's blog.

So the donors are offering up to return the yo-yo straight in front of oncoming traffic. The same yo-yo for the plan. For Lois Ann Dort of the DNA and by spending over longer periods of time to execute another, only to return the yo-yo fall gently from the philosophically reflective to the events in the songs Blue Jazz, White Jazz and Milneburg Joys. Such three-star innovations are widely imitated these days None This is often not the problem and the pen flatter, not vertical, and this is an entrenched Madison Avenue establishment called La Goulue.

This really feels like it is out of a Murakami novel. That or it is the proverbially monkey with a typwriter. Whatever it may be I find it interesting to have my name linked with DNA out there in the cyber-world.

Now that I have researched myself, I have to say that I am satisfied with what I have found.

However most of my mark was made in that other life I lead, the Thai incarnation. I guess it is no wonder that I miss those days where I felt like I was on the fast track to becoming someone. I miss the opportunities that were opening up to me in Bangkok, but I don't regret my move. I need to push past the every day and open up my writing life here. Everything is impermanence.

That kind of Farang

I recently met a man. No, not that man. A man I didn't like, and that is a rare thing. For those of you that know me will know that generally speaking I am a fancier of men in all shapes and sizes and for various purposes: the friend, the lover, the casual acquaintance. But this man was a flashback, a remembrance of annoyances past from my days in the Land of Smile.

He was a Farang in the most pejorative sense of the word. I met him at a party, and these days I go to so few it is amazing that I should meet anyone that would rankle me to such a degree.

My ex, Tets, who is Asian, was with me at the party. He and I had met and lived for many years in Thailand and this MAN had been to Thailand. He immediately slipped into what I call dumb Farang speak with Tets. "I go Pattaya. I chop Thai." He spit out a few other words in Thai and my discomfort grew and I had to get as far away from him as the house would allow.

I didn't ask who he was;I didn't want to know his name. I didn't tell his girlfriend what kind of visit to Thailand her boyfriend had likely had. I wanted him to disappear and all the other men like him to follow suit.

When I left Thailand, I was more than happy to leave the sputtered mumblings of washed up white men to Thai people behind. I hated the colonial attitude many people wore smugly on their sweating faces. I hated even more, the way my partner was treated as a performing monkey and how he played the part of the white man's dimmer Asian companion. I said goodbye to all that and now here it was again standing in my cousins' kitchen in out-of-the-way Nova Scotia.

Two days ago, via FB, i saw that this MAN was no longer part of my family circle. He and his girlfriend, my distant family member, had broken up. I could not have been happier. I hope I never see him again but if I do, I'll have a few words to share.

Dating status

For as many short years as I have been on Facebook, there has been a lack of relationship status labeled:Dating. This annoys me to no end every time my romantic life moves up a notch. I am not in a relationship, I am hanging out, dating. Is there no room for dating in this fast paced gotta-have-everything, gotta-have-it-now world? There seems to be no stepping stone from Single to In a relationship.

Thirty years ago, dating is what people did; take your time, get to know people. Now it seems that everyone is in such a rush to be secured with a partner that they don't want to take the time to get to know someone before they decide to announce publicly that they are "involved".

And then there is the inevitable break-up posting. You have all seen it: the relationship status changes from Engaged to Single. That's crushing. All your FB friends will rally and trash talk your ex in hundreds of sympathetic postings. But next week when your status changes again, your friends can not undo all the pity posts and you are left to reflect on how either your friends or your mate is a jerk.

The best policy is to remain electronically single. I shall undoubtedly post in the singular for many moons. I have no intentions of having a FB record of my limited love life.

Internal Camouflage

I sit here in my pink passion chemise from Frederick's of Hollywood and I wonder what is everyone else wearing under their casual jeans, make-up, and unknown psyche.

Is this outfit so unlike the 'me' that people imagine that I would be laughed out of bed for wearing it? Is it just left overs from teen-aged Halloweens where we always seemed to dress up like hookers, no matter what we called that year's costume.

These clothes make me feel good, make me feel feminine- I have too often been accused of being the opposite which is no doubt the reason I love such costumes.
But my boldness in attire has only come with age. At 25, I would not have had the confidence to walk into such a store let alone try something on and buy it. It is with the maturity of my 30's that I learned how to really be me .

The Introvert and the internet

My co-worker was described as a 'shy' person. However, she has over 750 friends on Facebook. I just passed the 150 friend point and I would definitely not be described as shy. There is a story and /or perhaps a trend in these small details.

Do people who have trouble making friends in the real world find it so much easier in the virtual world that they become the center of the friend universe. Is it something about them that inhibits their face-to-face friend making ability? What makes a person shy? How does the computer and it's distance from real people make it a safe place to accept new friends? Does she really know all these people or are they friends of friends, a face that she has seen enough times to accept the inevitable friend request?

I rarely accept friend requests from people I have only a passing knowledge of- I guess I just want to know what my REAL friends are doing.

Music For the Masses

Music like sport has become an elitist pursuit. Only people who excel at either activity tend to pursue them.
Recently I have reclaimed my musical life in the hopes of advancing my daughter's interest in playing a musical instrument. I found myself feeling slightly disheartened when I realized no amount of practice would make me James Galway, famous Irish Flutist. But after a few session of playing with my daughter, I felt much better. Here was a family activity, that was enjoyable and educational. Music, and the ability to play and instrament, no matter how amateurishly, has always been a means of relaxation to me. The accomplishment of playing a tune through with no mistakes replenishes my soul.
This is an activity too few people pursue. Music has become a spectator sport. Music, like physical education, is focused on the best and most capable players. Pick up a tin whistle or a recorder, it's a low cost investment that may bring you hours of pleasure.

Note: a radio documentary about the place of music in our lives is available for download at
http://thepiratebay.org/torrent/4762468/cbc_Radio_-_The_Nerve

Bravest Man I Ever Met

The bravest man I ever met, I met today. He's not a crocodile hunter, a U.S. Marine or a snake charmer. He's a student. A student in an upgrading program run out of my work site. He has been out of school for over 30 years and has come back to learn the reading, writing, and arithmetic he missed out on as a kid.
As I helped him with some math problems he told me he wasn't sure it was such a good idea to come back to school now- at this point in his life. I said that education was never wasted no matter what you did with it or when you got it.
We worked out a good method of counting on fingers for simple addition and he really started to make progress. This isn't my job- I was just helping out- but it was the most rewarding teaching experience I have ever had.