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Tuesday, December 28, 2010

A venting post: Big Daddy

Sometimes I wish I wasn't so damn nice. This visit of Big Daddy is really getting under my skin. I am not sure why but one possibility is that I have finally gotten over my personal fantasies about him-both the murder and marriage related ones.

Usually it takes more than 3 days before I want him out of my house and back in Bangkok but today he said something in conversation with my f ather and step-mother that just irked me to the extent that I can hardly look at him.

It was a discussion about his own parents; his mother is taking English Lessons in the hopes of one day meeting with her only grandchildren, my kids. He told his mom to keep living for 15 more years then the kids could travel and they could finally meet their youngest grandchild and become reacquainted with their first, whom they had known only as a baby.

My blood boiled. Playing for sympathy and martyrdom for himself and family-so unfortunate that I am not letting his parents experience the grandparent hood they so richly deserve and yearn for.

At first I was going to say nothing; let things slide- I didn't want a fight. But I hate having him always coming across as the victim in this relationship.

So I said, "I offered to take the girls to Bangkok last year to meet with your parents but you didn't want me to come."

He thought for a second and said,"Yes, well it's too dangerous."

I responded, "It wasn't at the time and that was not your reason for not wanting me to come."

He didn't pursue the line of conversation and nether did I.

Last year when I had offered to fly half way round the world and bring his kids to his doorstep, his reaction after thinking about my proposal for 3 weeks was, "You threw away Bangkok so you shouldn't come back here."

And now I had to hear him talk about how his parents had to live for 15 more years if they had any hope of seeing their grandchildren when they could have seen them in Bangkok last August.

Livid is not word enough to describe how I felt.
And now I have several more days of his visit and I have already had enough.

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