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Tuesday, September 6, 2011

38 and counting

When I was born they counted my days on this earth succinctly because they feared I would have too few. Now, I am counting my time here by years and I never forget the work, medical expertise and luck that got me this far.

This year I spent my birthday working at a job I never would have dreamed I would possess, going out for supper with my children who I never believed would fulfill their ovarian encased potential, and visiting with my father, a relationship that I never thought could be this strong.

Summer is a busy time for me and the end of summer never more so. But I did find time to think..a little.

Mostly what I thought about was how I had all the things I really wished for in life. My children, my family and a job or two that might be considered a career. I also have my passion, which sometimes is stymied by work, fatigue and plain old writers block but nonetheless exists as a definable thing which I can sit down and do on any given day.

To know your passion is a unique gift. Some people don't have one. There is no overarching desire to do just one thing and enjoy the process.

I have friends, mothers mostly, who I look at and wonder where will their fulfillment come from when their chicks have flown the coop. I know people who may fill their golden years with TV reruns of great old shows they loved watching when they were in the prime of their lives. What does one do in life, as a empty-nester or a retiree if you don't have a passion?

Many people pursue passions that I can not understand. Today I read about a lady who has a collection of over 800 salt and pepper shakers. I am sure it qualifies as a passion but it's one that doesn't translate in my reality.

My passion is of course writing. There never seems to be enough time to write and when time shows up, as it has today, there seems to be no inspiration.

My free time has suddenly vanished and I must return to work but at least I have another year- just me and my passion. The gift of time to pursue one's passion is among the most valuable.

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